Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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