Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
