what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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