This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
