you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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