Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize