operation harelip BJ is a go
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
