things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
