So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
