Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
