matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
