I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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