i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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