i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
