I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My butt remains clenched, sir.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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