Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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