Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize