I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
