God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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