Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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