I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
