He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't put those talents on a resume
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize