its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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