Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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