i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
