I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
