she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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