help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
