When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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