She said her name was "party"
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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