so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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