He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
