So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
