I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
