im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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