Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
