Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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