Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
