Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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