I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
