I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize