new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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