I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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