this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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