Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
