I puked a lego.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
