I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
