When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
my liver is dry heaving
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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