can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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