Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
