): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
