how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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