So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
