Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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