Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
