I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
