Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
