first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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