It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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