doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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