i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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