Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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