dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
