Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
