Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
