Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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