for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
