i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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