eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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