Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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