you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
