just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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