bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
