Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
