he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
