I heard we made out
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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