Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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