Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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