That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
