I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
