Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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